Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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