just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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