I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
