Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He passed out mid-signature
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
