He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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