he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
