I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
