I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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