We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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