Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
