Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have feelings that need drinking.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize