my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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