So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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