Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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