if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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