Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize