Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
