ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
