oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Sober January is a disaster.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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