this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
