ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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