ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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