my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
