can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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