It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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