We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This is the prime rib incident all over again
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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