we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
