we made out on top of his cat.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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