About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
