plz talk dirty to me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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