Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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