I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
