I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
