Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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