sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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