Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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