she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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