we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
