so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize