White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
