A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
