I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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