when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
