I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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