I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
