Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
