nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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