he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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