it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
