I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
