Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize