I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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