I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
