I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
