you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
