i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
