i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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