you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Still dying that you shit outside
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
