You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
