Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
