I want to make a zoo with you.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
